Who is Robert Cialdini Robert Cialdini is a professor of Psychology and Marketing at Arizona State University. He is best known for his book ‘Influence’ that was listed by Fortune Magazine in their list of ’75 Smartest Business Books’. Dr Cialdini is a PhD holder with over three decades of experience in research. As an impeccable expert in the matters of persuasion, negotiation and compliance, he has delved deep into enigmatic mysteries that explain why people behave the way they do. As the most cited social psychologist, Robert has explained how people use psychological weapons to influence others in their day-to-day life through his book: Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion. Summary I’ve always been under the impression that everyone worked in sales and marketing. Whether a father is telling his son to eat vegetables to build muscles, or the car salesman working towards a commission, the game is the same. One way or the other, we want to influence other people around us. I think all business people will find it extremely useful to read this book. However, I feel that the true benefit from reading this book is not to learn how we can influence other people, but more importantly how we might be influence by others. I strongly believe that the best way to become successful is through authenticity and only be influenced by people you admire. For me “Influence” did just that. This book should be included in every seminar and course that teaches about sales, marketing and psychology. Most importantly, Robert has done a splendid job at explaining how the power of persuasion works for and against people in different situations. If you’ve ever wondered how big companies succeed in luring customers, you simply can’t miss this book. Robert’s clear and honest accounts that explain numerous scenarios are both witty and concise. Not only will you learn how to use the principles of persuasion to your advantage, you will also be able to defend yourself against such tactics. WEAPONS OF INFLUENCE This section deals with a very simple principle which states that people simply need a reason to do something. We have automatic patterns embedded in us; thereby making us react differently to different circumstances. This doesn’t apply only to animals, but also humans. The author starts the book by talking about a mother turkey that protects her offspring automatically, by traits that revolve around a sense of smell and touch. For example, scientists discovered that a mother turkey would care about her offspring only when it uttered a ‘Cheep cheep’ sound, thus making it obvious that the turkey was reacting in an automatic pattern. One might think that we are entering dangerous territory when acting in automatic patterns, but as Cialdini explain it is very understandable. We live in a very complex world, and don’t have the capacity to deal with all the information and signals we get from other people and our environment, and we therefore fall into the trap of using shortcuts. A principle on human behavior states that we are more likely to get someone to grant us a favor if we provide a reason. For example, if you were to stand in a line to get some printouts and find that there are five people ahead of you, it might be tricky to get your job done before anyone else. If you simply state, “May I get my printouts done?” you might not succeed; however, if you were to say, “May I get my printouts done because I’m in a rush” you will have a better chance of succeeding. Why? Note that the operative word here is ‘because’, and once you give someone a reason to help you, you will be able to get things done pretty easily. RECIPROCATION – The Old Give and Take…and Take The second principle asserts that we need to repay another person if we have received something from that person. No, this isn’t about being kind to our fellow human beings, but it’s an inherent human attitude. According to the principle of reciprocity, we actually feel obliged to return favors whenever someone helps us because we feel indebted and uncomfortable if we don’t. This is true even in situations where you don’t like the person whose favor you feel obligated to reciprocate. In many situations when we feel indebted we even feel that we should return bigger favors. This principle can be proven by taking several examples that occur in our daily lives. For instance, you might find yourself giving extra tips to a waitress who has been very kind to you. Or, you might feel obligated to donate to a charity when they send you a gift, even if the gift is worthless. Similarly, you will definitely help your colleague if he/she has been considerate towards you. For years, marketers have constantly made money by offering free samples to people. If you get a free sample from a company, you will probably feel like purchasing more products from the company, simply because you feel obligated to do so. This rule is very powerful and often produces a ‘Yes’ from an individual even they are not really interested. Simply put, marketers use this rule because it becomes very difficult for you to refuse whatever they’re selling to you. As a customer, you need to remember that you aren’t up against the marketer or any other individual who’s trying to persuade you, but you’re actually against the very rule of reciprocity. You can take several steps to prevent the rule from abusing you. So, if you see signs of insincere reciprocity, where a person tries to persuade you to buy his product, you need to avoid taking his free sample in the first place, thereby avoiding feelings of confrontation and guilt. COMMITMENT AND CONSISTENCY- Hobgoblins of the Mind The third principle revolves around our desire to be consistent with whatever we have done already. Once we commit to something, whether it’s verbal or written, it means that we have made a choice and taken a stand, and though we may encounter personal pressures that might sway us away from our commitment we find ways and respond in a manner that justifies our previous decision. Commitment and consistency are desirable traits that we all try to live up to, and it is unnatural for us to deviate from that. Actually this even becomes worse if we have made a given statement or action to more people. Once we make up our minds about something, our stubborn consistency offers several luxuries where we don’t really have to think about the issue anymore, because we have made a decision already. Since we don’t have to think deeply about solid facts that sometimes prove our beliefs otherwise, and since we aren’t inclined to spend our mental energy and think about the positives and negatives of a certain situation, we choose the easy route of automatic, blind consistency. Let’s take an example of people who bet on horse races. Normally, they tend to be uncertain about the race’s outcome beforethey buy the tickets. However, once they take a stand and buy the ticket, which is a commitment, they tend to become positive and believe that their horse is going to win. They won’t be inclined to think about the pros and cons, but they are simply going to go ahead because they made the commitment. At this point of time we feel more certain about our decision than ever before. Similarly, if you buy a sample from a company, you will feel obligated to buy the actual product from them because you’ve already made a commitment. This rule applies not only in our professional lives but in our personal lives too, where you find it tough to sway from a decision once you’ve already made. SOCIAL PROOF – Truths are us The fourth principle deals with ‘Social Proof’ where we steer towards a herd mentality. We believe that our behavior is apt depending on how many other people react to it, which simply means that our decisions are based on actions taken by others. As humans, we sometimes tend to mimic others around us. For example, if you see hordes of people staring at the sky, you’re bound to do the same, even if you don’t know why you’re actually doing it. Let’s take another example. If you see your colleagues working hard, clocking over-time every week, you’re probably going to mimic their behavior, even if you don’t really need to stay late. While some of us tend to think and do things our way, many people don’t want to think and end up doing something out of the ordinary. We usually give so much importance to others that our behavior is consistently altered according to various situations. So why do we behave according to the actions taken by others? Generally, we think that we are going to commit fewer mistakes by doing what others are doing because we instantaneously think that if others are doing it, it’s definitely the right thing to do. This principle of the social proof has its merits but on the other hand it has its disadvantages too. Just like the other principles used to influence others, the social proof provides an easy shortcut if you’re worried about making decisions; however, it could make you vulnerable to people who use this principle to their advantage. Advertisers, for instance, love this principle since it really helps them create a buzz around a product that might not be selling well. This is exactly why you see some products projected as the ‘largest-selling’ or ‘fastest-moving’, making you feel that it’s exceptionally great. Another condition that works well with social proof is the uncertainty. For example, victims involved in road accidents don’t receive help from others who pass by unless and until they ask for help. Since other people do not stop and offer, the group thinking is that nothing is wrong. Studies show that the more uncertain we are about how to react, the more likely we are to follow the actions of the crowd or other people. LIKING – The Friendly Thief The fifth principle deals with the concept of likeability that states that we are more likely to be influenced by people we like. Though we see this rule used generally by people we meet every day, it is startling to see how advertisers and marketers use this simple rule to lure in customers. Just think of Tupperware’s concepts where someone is inviting people over to their house for “Tupperware Parties”. Since you are invited by your friend, and you know that your friend can make money, or lose face dependent on your decision to buy the product, you most often end up buying products if you need them or not. The reason is simply that you like your friend So what exactly makes us like someone? Physical attractiveness – People usually love celebrities and though some of them aren’t really talented, they still manage to get hordes of fans dying to talk to them. Why? Well, it’s because of their physical attractiveness and once people get attracted to them, they simply want to connect with them. Similarity – We usually tend to work and gel with people who are similar to us, don’t we? Even at work, we generally avoid people who we think are dissimilar to us. So when we establish a similarity with someone, we tend to like them because it feels like it’s the right thing to do. Compliments – No matter how much we deny that compliments don’t work, most of us fall for them. Of course, we all love compliments because it makes us feel good, so if we talk to people who are sweet and shower compliments on us, we begin to establish a closer, better connection with them. However, on the other hand, this could backfire for people who use this extensively by complimenting someone repeatedly. In such cases, it might not work because everyone recognizes a phony. Contact – Simply put, we usually like things that seem familiar to us, instead of taking up something that’s unknown. In the book, Dr. Cialdini talks extensively how people of similar race or gender are more likely to help each other out because the have a sense of familiarity to that person. Cooperation – As humans, we love to connect with people who seem to be very cooperative, right? For example, if you’re at work, you will more likely work with a person who cooperates and helps you with your work as opposed to a person who tends to think outside the box. Conditioning and Association – Although this principle is a general one, it governs both the positive and negative connections. The long story cut short, we usually associate ourselves with positive events and avoid negative ones. […]
